I’m doing so much better but I’m so tempted to give up sometimes

• Me on my wedding day: you still like me right

grinchfucker:

shoutout to the time my mom was hammered and i heard her trying to tell my dad that she murdered her first husband years ago and my dad very patiently said “i saw glenn in an elevator last week”

alexanderperchov:

if i ever have kids instead of being like “it’s a boy” im going to send out highly bewildering cards that say things like “it’s the chosen one” and “it’s probably not a lizard” and “we’re not sure what it is, but it just set the couch on fire, please send help” with a different thing to every person i send one to just to see what people show up at the baby shower with

(Source: mirchive, via winterparty)

aymmichurros:

[enters my own room] damn bitch you live like this?

(via f-lower-crowns)

novice-heartbreaker:

read this out loud:

• I am allowed to take a break today

• It’s not selfish to put my feelings and health first

• I need to remember to care for myself

• I should be allowed to express myself, I am lovely as I am

(via decrepit-tongues)